Sarah's Night Before Christmas

Sarah’s Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, on the edge of Wasilla
Sarah stared out her window, thinking, Snow’s like vanilla . . .
Vanilla ice cream, that is . . . and she giggled with glee,
Like my fans on my book tour, like snow, like me.

And how refreshing we are when the winter feels hot,
Because Obama’s the President; Global warming it’s not!
You see, Obama’s to blame for the economy’s state,
He’s to blame for Al Qaeda, and when gays marry and mate.

He’s the reason I wasn’t crowned Miss Alaska;
Didn’t the woman who won look just like him, I’ll ask ya?
He’s the reason that cute, perky Katy Couric attacked me;
He’s the reason that guy throwing tomatoes nearly whacked me.

He wants to change healthcare, impose death panels, and just maybe,
He’s been thinking about killing my Down’s syndrome baby.
He’s a shadow of darkness on this cold Christmas Eve night,
He’s a shadow just hovering over my pure bright white light.

But don’t worry my true American friends, my tea-partyin’ vanilla family;
My path’s been foretold and the rapture is near; neither Obama nor witches can stop me!
After selflessly resigning as governor, the liberals then screamed I’m a quitter,
But I’m not a lame duck and they won’t keep me from, writing to you on Face Book and Twitter!

And to you mean pajama-clad bloggers: Yes, I’m talking to Gryphen and Bree,
And to Muckraker, Sullivan, Celtic Diva and Moore; you haven’t heard the last of me.
Do you really think the first amendment protects you, as you write your un-American lies?
Cease now and repent or suffer the wrath of my prayer warriors who pray for your demise.

And now a shout of encouragement, to the non-elite media, Fox News;
And to those who welcome the salvation, I bring to the Republican Party blues.
Now Greta! Now, Glenn! Now Sean Hannity and Neil!
On, Bachmann! On, Cheney! On McCain and Bill!
To the top of the ratings charts, to the top of the polls!
Support Sarah and SarahPAC, until Obama’s head rolls!

The day will come when evil Democrats, will be in power no more.
The day will come when God will say, “Sarah, open that door,”
So Merry Christmas, real Americans! Sweet dreams until the dawn,
Dream of 2012 and Trig playing on the White House lawn.

By J.W. Morgan